I get this question a lot from potential clients. A lot of them are people who found me on doulamatch.net and a few are from this blog, but a lot of them have recently come from my own past clients who have referred me to them. It feels so awesome when a previous client passes my name onto one of her friends. It is the highest form of flattery for a doula.
Anyways, the best ways I've seen that are useful in choosing a doula are:
1. Talk to her on the phone and see how she responds to your questions.
-Does she seem hesitant about your due date or the birth attendant you are going with
-Does she seem excited to be adding you to her list of births or does she sound stressed out
2. This one is a given, get together for a consultation meeting. Most doula's, myself included, do not charge a fee for this first meeting. Invite her over to your home to talk about what she offers, a price agreement, and what her contract entails.
-Make sure you have questions for her to answer. Such as...What kind of things would you be teaching us before we go into labor? What is your view on natural birth? What things do you bring to the birthing facility to help me cope with my pain? Do you offer payment plans? What other things can you provide for me that are included in the price? Do you offer aromatherapy?
-Is she certified with a trusted doula organization? OR does she have the experience you are looking for? OR is she training to be certified and needs to get her birth hours in?
-Remember that if you have any special circumstances ie...preeclampsia, gestational diabetes, high risk pregnancy, history of infant loss, stillbirth, or miscarriage, or any past sexual trauma you let her know ahead of time. She won't ask for details at that time but she will at least be informed before you both make a decision.
3. Something I suggest is to always interview at least 1 other doula in the area to make sure you really feel comfortable with who you choose. If neither of the doula's you interview feel right keep looking you will find the right one eventually.
4. Sit down with your birth partner, if you don't have one choose a friend whose opinion your value, and lay out all the pros and cons of each doula.
-What did you like about her?
-What made you unsure of hiring her?
-Was she in your price range?
-Did you feel a connection when you talked with her?
-Did she get along with your birth partner and value their opinion and answer their questions?
-Did she seem comfortable around you or was she nervous and on edge?
All of these things should be able to tell you which person you trust with your birth experience.
5. Call her and tell her you want to book your birth with her. Sign her contract if there is one and pay her the retaining fee if there is one of those as well. Most doula's book your first client meeting right then and you guys will become very good friends in no time at all.
I know that DONA.org has a list of questions you can ask a potential doula in your consultation interview as well as some other guidelines to help you choose which doula you want. I am just going off of experience from past clients and what I have seen help me to understand that sometimes the connection just isn't there.
If you are searching for a doula in your area check out doulamatch.net as well as DONA.org. If you are looking for a doula that is trying to certify I highly suggest asking a childbirth educator in your area or looking at doulamatch. A lot of doulas on that site are looking for birth hours to certify. DONA.org has all the CD(DONA) doula's that have been certified through their organization.
Having a doula at your birth is a wonderful tool to help increase your chances of having a fantastic birth. Whether you plan to do it unmedicated or medicated she will know what to do to help you feel comfortable and informed on every aspect of the birth journey. Hire a doula today you won't regret it!!!
Thursday, August 21, 2014
Tuesday, August 12, 2014
Being A Doula: I don't do this just for the baby snuggles, although they do make it all worth it!
Since my last posting I have been humbled to be a part of 5 births to date. They all have been so very different and have taught me so many lessons. I can recount every single one of them as if they were my own births and to be honest I actually feel very connected to them on a level I can't even describe.
I never thought that I would find a job that I loved so much and I never realized the capacity my heart had to hold so many people in it. I have learned so many things about myself and how far I am willing to go to make sure that that one mom knows she is loved by me. Whether I just met her 2 weeks before her due date or spent 5 months getting to know her I love them all.
If you would have told me 5 years ago when I was pregnant with my own child that I would be watching women go through one of the most difficult and vulnerable times in her life and cheer her on I probably would have laughed in your face. If you would have said that I would want to change the birth world by becoming a doula and then deciding to further my education and become a midwife I would have thought you were nuts. But that is where I am today. I find myself wanting more control and a louder voice in the birthing community. We need women to stand up and take care of each other instead of belittling choices or circumstances. That is what I feel I have been called to do.
If you think I decided to do this job for the money you can think twice. It isn't about the money its about being there for that mom at the exact moment she needs you. If you think I chose this job to snuggle warm babies fresh from heaven you are right but that isn't the only reason I do this. If you think I CHOSE to do this you would be dead wrong. I didn't choose it...It chose me. I owe my 2 lovely little baby girls the world for giving me the calling to help other mothers.
To me being a birth doula means that I have to postpone family vacations and keep my cell phone on and loud during everything for an unknown amount of time. It means making plans you sometimes can't keep, it means losing sleep and standing for hours on end.It means eating hospital snacks and drinking lukewarm Coke to keep yourself together after an 18 hour labor. It means doing a knee press, counter pressure, or even a double hip squeeze when you would rather be sleeping in your nice warm bed or watching the newest episode of Vampire Diaries. It means taking a mothers hand in your own and letting her feel your power course through her and vice versa. It's telling her to breathe and follow your lead. Its letting her know that the pain she is feeling is a good thing and that she is letting her body do what it needs to to bring her baby to her arms. It means crying with a family when a miracle baby is placed on the mothers chest and she is able to grab her and say hello the her. Its about crying with a mother to let her know that her past pain and suffering does matter and that it has made her a stronger woman. It's about feeling the love pour out of everyone in the room and fill you up. Its feeling the adrenaline of watching a mother bring her baby to her breast and get her to latch on the first try. Its about what that mother has done and given up to bring a healthy baby into the world. Its about what you did for the mother.
You may feel like an outsider looking in at the end of the day but in reality that mother is never going to forget who was there during her child's birth. Even now I see my name in peoples birth stories and I know that I mattered. I may not be in the pictures hanging on their wall or in the photo album but I mattered to them and that is all I need.
It may seem like I give up a lot to fulfill my calling as a doula but in reality I feel like I am gaining so much more. I choose being a doula because that is where I know my heart belongs. I can't imagine any other lifestyle than the one I have been given and I can't thank God enough for bringing these wonderful mama's to me. I also can't thank the mothers who have invited me into their hearts enough for showing me their strength and also their weaknesses!!! I can't even begin to thank them for letting me witness such a life changing event and to keep it in my heart for eternity!
Thank you to all my past clients
Thank you to all my future clients
I never thought that I would find a job that I loved so much and I never realized the capacity my heart had to hold so many people in it. I have learned so many things about myself and how far I am willing to go to make sure that that one mom knows she is loved by me. Whether I just met her 2 weeks before her due date or spent 5 months getting to know her I love them all.
If you would have told me 5 years ago when I was pregnant with my own child that I would be watching women go through one of the most difficult and vulnerable times in her life and cheer her on I probably would have laughed in your face. If you would have said that I would want to change the birth world by becoming a doula and then deciding to further my education and become a midwife I would have thought you were nuts. But that is where I am today. I find myself wanting more control and a louder voice in the birthing community. We need women to stand up and take care of each other instead of belittling choices or circumstances. That is what I feel I have been called to do.
If you think I decided to do this job for the money you can think twice. It isn't about the money its about being there for that mom at the exact moment she needs you. If you think I chose this job to snuggle warm babies fresh from heaven you are right but that isn't the only reason I do this. If you think I CHOSE to do this you would be dead wrong. I didn't choose it...It chose me. I owe my 2 lovely little baby girls the world for giving me the calling to help other mothers.
To me being a birth doula means that I have to postpone family vacations and keep my cell phone on and loud during everything for an unknown amount of time. It means making plans you sometimes can't keep, it means losing sleep and standing for hours on end.It means eating hospital snacks and drinking lukewarm Coke to keep yourself together after an 18 hour labor. It means doing a knee press, counter pressure, or even a double hip squeeze when you would rather be sleeping in your nice warm bed or watching the newest episode of Vampire Diaries. It means taking a mothers hand in your own and letting her feel your power course through her and vice versa. It's telling her to breathe and follow your lead. Its letting her know that the pain she is feeling is a good thing and that she is letting her body do what it needs to to bring her baby to her arms. It means crying with a family when a miracle baby is placed on the mothers chest and she is able to grab her and say hello the her. Its about crying with a mother to let her know that her past pain and suffering does matter and that it has made her a stronger woman. It's about feeling the love pour out of everyone in the room and fill you up. Its feeling the adrenaline of watching a mother bring her baby to her breast and get her to latch on the first try. Its about what that mother has done and given up to bring a healthy baby into the world. Its about what you did for the mother.
You may feel like an outsider looking in at the end of the day but in reality that mother is never going to forget who was there during her child's birth. Even now I see my name in peoples birth stories and I know that I mattered. I may not be in the pictures hanging on their wall or in the photo album but I mattered to them and that is all I need.
It may seem like I give up a lot to fulfill my calling as a doula but in reality I feel like I am gaining so much more. I choose being a doula because that is where I know my heart belongs. I can't imagine any other lifestyle than the one I have been given and I can't thank God enough for bringing these wonderful mama's to me. I also can't thank the mothers who have invited me into their hearts enough for showing me their strength and also their weaknesses!!! I can't even begin to thank them for letting me witness such a life changing event and to keep it in my heart for eternity!
Thank you to all my past clients
Thank you to all my future clients
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